Their Safety is Really All that Matters
I’m not a helicopter parent. Really, I’m not. (Ok, some may disagree.) Regardless, once we have moved our student in and he/she is ready to embark on a new independent life, we still want to know they are safe at all times. Once the tears have stopped (ours, of course), it becomes easier each time you realize his/her growing autonomy (this is what we are supposed to want for our children) and happiness. Knowing they are safe is a forever thing. Therefore, it may be helpful to know that FSU has a few very supportive resources available. Their safety really is all that matters.
The FSU Police Department provides SAFE Connection which is available when students need a free, safe escort on or around campus. The emergency Blue Light Trail consists of over 300 strategically placed light poles equipped with emergency speakerphones and strobe lights. In addition, there is the Victim Advocate Program which provides advocacy to victims on or off campus 24 hours a day. They offer emotional support, instructor notification, referrals, education programming and more. Hopefully, your kids won’t ever need this, but it is good to know it is there.
For me, while I miss my daughter immensely, I am also confident that I have given her the tools to succeed. They are going to experiment; perhaps staying out late or eating unhealthy foods, drinking and so forth. FSU offers yet another safety net if you have concerns that your student is having difficulty adjusting to life on his or her own. Nole Central has Coping Through College to help incoming and current Florida State students cope with college. Whether they are stressed out, lonely, overwhelmed, nervous, or homesick there is someone there to help. Their overall goal is to give FSU a welcoming and friendly atmosphere. They offer many activities from yoga to speed dating to campus walks; oh and dogs (studies have shown that dogs help students deal with stress and anxiety); literally something for everyone. Bottom line, FSU is an enormous institution and programs like the ones above offer a safety net should students be in need. Bookmark them, and be sure your student is aware of each; then sit back and wait for the eye roll, but know you did your duty.
I also recommend getting your student’s roommates and/or a close friend’s contact information. There is nothing worse than not being able to find your daughter/son; and although it may be as simple as a) he forgot to charge his phone, b) she fell asleep at the sorority house or c) lost her phone under a pile of laundry and is so busy studying she didn’t realize it was gone. (Do not laugh; I have lived through all three.) This being said, remind your son/daughter of the obvious (to us) to not walk anywhere alone (particularly at night) or put themselves in dangerous situations. As any campus police will tell you, crime is always based on opportunity so if you remove the opportunity, in most instances, you can exist safely on campus.
The university sends out alerts to the student for all criminal activity, as well as impending severe weather. I know some parents who subscribe to this service, but I would strongly encourage you to make sure your student subscribes to the service as they are the ones living there. If you choose to receive the notifications as well, realize now they may leave you feeling worried and helpless.
I would also make certain you have your student’s Find My Phone login information. They may resist, but perhaps you can make a promise not to abuse its benefits in order to make them less resistant. You can also explain how should they go missing (see a, b, and c above), a cell phone allows the police or anyone else to track your student’s recent activity. Of course, if the phone is shut down it has no service, but it will give the most recent usage. If that doesn’t convince them, threaten to not pay the phone bill (which of course would defeat the purpose, but it works.) I can’t tell you how many times I have heard stories about children who couldn’t be reached for hours at a time, putting the parents into a major tailspin, only to find their son/daughter simply forgot to tell his/her roommate he/she was sleeping somewhere else. Avoid this situation at all costs and remind your kids to always contact someone (roommate, suitemate, BFF) of their whereabouts, especially if they are not going to be sleeping in the room. Sure, sometimes it is not planned, but social media is so prevalent that there are no reasons to not let someone else know their whereabouts.
An Uncomfortable Discussion …
All universities are open campuses many with beautiful, sprawling foliage, brick buildings, open spaces. FSU is an absolutely amazing campus like many college campuses. Being a college town, it does attract some undesirable persons. Your student should always be aware of their surroundings. We live in scary times as witnessed by the recent school shooting in Parkland, Florida (where all my children graduated from and where I live). Sadly, students, today prepare for what is called a Code Red or active shooter. Every college has a plan. To read FSU’s plan, click here.